Wednesday, November 19, 2014

do I have cancer?

so I was told that the next step in finding out whether or not I have cancer is to have the biopsy of both breasts however my friend Margie pointed out to me that there are sometimes serious side effects and who having a biopsy. Given how low my quality of life already is and give him that I love my breasts exactly the way they are I have decided that I am going to forgo having two biopsies.

As it is I've been sick for almost 20 years since seriously so with no health aide and no support virtually no support of any kind not even anyone that would go pick up a prescription for me if I was too sick to get it.

That being said about the lack of support why risk getting even sicker with no support? I don't know how many weeks or months it'll be where I will be symptom-free if I do indeed have cancer but you can imagine as someone who is made six suicide attempts already well... I will keep you informed

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

looking back at 11 / 27 / 07

dear mayor,

I'm hoping there is something you can do to help me I am a single disabled 44 year old woman living in a privately owned section 8 building. I've been living here since June 2005 and have approached many agencies for help with no luck.

The maintenance man had stolen thousands of dollars worth of my belongings in a series of ongoing burglaries they wait for me to leave my apartment and then they come in and steal and vandalize. I want them fired but I'm afraid to press charges due to go to court because that might put my life in danger.

Can you help me get them terminated or can you help me get transferred to a safer section 8 building in Baltimore County sincerely Elena

looking back at November 18th 2007

I had hoped to go over to Towson University public library to blog with the entire university is under terroristic threats and no one is allowed on the campus this is so typical Baltimore!


I didn't choose my calling my calling chose me by Tim Shriver. Tim is Maria's little brother. I can really identify with this. I have learned so many things by having been on the streets for so long and there's so much education that I want to share with the rest of the world so my calling is about much more than telling the shock of my own story but it's about how much specialized knowledge I have and I won't be happy unless I share all of it. I certainly never would have chosen the life that I've had!

Monday, November 17, 2014

90 day fiance

there is one huge way that I can relate to these girls. I have had about 200 if not more addresses since 1994 nearly every one of them was a blind move I took whatever living situation and whatever shelter that I could afford sometimes I could afford no money at all. In this regard I can fully relate to these girls and the way that they are thrown in the foreign situations and forced to adapt.

homicide hunter lieutenant Joe Kenda

this Yvonne Cisneros case is so hauntingly familiar. From June 2005 until June 2009 I tried to sleep at night but couldn't I had boxes of heavy books propped up against the door. For 4 years I dealt with nearly daily home invasions and stalking in part by the maintenance men. The police didn't care and they refuse to make a report nearly every day if I left the house at all I would return home to vandalism and my belongings being gone. Because the paperwork was stolen to my identity was stolen. Do you know how remarkable it is that the maintenance men at that apartment building as well as other gangsters in the hood did not take my life? It was extremely unlikely that I would have skipped that section 8 place with my life but I did I was luckier than Yvonne and her two babies. I'll bet you're surprised I consider myself lucky in some ways I am.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Mean Girls

my 8th grade bully was a girl. She did tremendous damage to my life over a two-year period. But her actions have harmed me throughout my life cycle and I have had many nightmares in my adult life about what had happened. She's located me somehow just wrote me a2 page letter telling me about her life than in her life now and telling me that with her whole heart she wants to apologize. And that she's done everything in her adult life possible to create good karma and be kind to people, and she has taught her children to be kind and not bully.

I wrote back and told her that I accept her apology with my whole heart!